How to Fumble a Security Job

Kalanar Journal Entry : Fetid Moon, 12th day

I had to flea amongst the Minions, again. It was a simple job. The Elvs just wanted some extra security for a baby’s cut ceremony. Sounds simple, right? Wrong.

First off, it turns out the mother of the baby is actually the Elvyn maid who Bartholius had bed. It wasn’t just a tall ale tale. He sired the baby that started the race war. Sweet troll cookies, WTF?

Second, Delphina and Kaeliss start running around *ON DUTY* trying to pick up spells to perform the cut ceremony with Delphina’s wand. Her wand!!! We weren’t even hired for that. They had an El-moyl that was close to the family. It’s my cousin, Sheldaril. I really don’t know how the hell I’m going to explain this at the mid-summer family reunion.

I’ll probably have to smooth it over with arranging some giant eagle help or asking one of the beavers to move their pond. It’s always something they need with animals. It’s the one time I hate being a ranger. Aunt Harrimil always starts with “Oh hey, you’re a ranger…” Maybe I’ll just use the race war as an excuse for not making it this year.